Change is good

Following up on my last post, I have had a massive change of heart.

The person I was referring to I have been in love with for almost 3 years. Now, I’ve finally learned that the feeling I have towards that person will never be reciprocated and I’m finally okay with it.

I’ll always love this person, but I’ve learned someone you love may not be the one for you, although it is difficult, I’m finally okay with the fact that I will not hold them as the center of my universe for the first time in almost 3 years.

Changing this perspective is allowing me to live my life without holing this person as a factor in my decision making.


When you know, you know

You know your favorite place, your favorite season, your favorite food, your favorite singer/band, your favorite movie, and even your favorite person. 

When I say your favorite person, I am referring to your person who you know you want to be with. The person you’re willing to fight with, laugh with, take adventures with and love.

When you know, you know. 

Letting them figure it out on their own

I recently had a client whose child was born with a physical deformity. 

Self disclosure: so was I. 

The first meeting we had, we were able to build rapport in the fact that we have something in common, although it isn’t something the mother knows how to deal with, because she wasn’t born that way. 

I can tell she is worried, and to tell you the truth, although mine wasn’t a genetic effect, I’m still curious and worried if my children would be born with a similar deformity. 

The best advice I could give her was to let him figure out how to use his hands by himself. For now he’s so young he won’t be doing much, but when he gets older, he’ll want to learn how to do certain things and it might be different than most, but he will make it work the best he can. 

A parents biggest fear seems to be whether or not their child will succeed. When a change in physical appearance occurs, it’s easy to believe they are loosing the chance to succeed in life, yet, this just might be their gift. 

Practicing with your friends

Recently I’ve had a friend struggling with depression and severe anxiety, although not yet officially diagnosed, it was pretty straight forward to recognize the signs when talking to them. 

As a future Social Worker, and as their best friend, I found it pertinent to help them understand the importance of seeking and utilizing services from a Social Worker in their area. I assisted by searching the listings of LCSWs in their area, reading the profiles and then promoting the people I found to my friend. 

It was a great feat for them, as previous experiences as a child had not been positive, and yet they were willing to listen to me and my testimony of the Social Work field, and the positive benefits they can receive from seeking counseling from a fellow Social Worker. 

It was a proud moment for me as a friend to hear they leapt forward and made the decision to call around to find the next available Social Worker. Sending my friend the profiles helped to ease their mind, as well as being able to explain as a friend what benefits could be seen through talking to someone about their personal life struggles.

They informed me they had an appointment scheduled, and had many worries but would still attend the session. 

To help ease their mind I offered to call them before the session to remind them of why they had shown up in the first place. 

Today, this person went in after talking to me for a few minutes and called me afterwards letting me know how grateful they were that I helped them gain the confidence to see this Social Worker. They felt that it was a good fit and that there truly was no judgment behind the Social Worker they saw. It was great to hear that what I had told my friend was held true. 

Today I am proud to be a future Social Worker. 

When You Don’t Fit In

There have been many times where I go out in public and don’t feel that I fit in with the crowd that I’m currently in.

The other night, I agreed to go to a music show with a friend. What I didn’t realize was that I was going to be the odd (wo)man out. By odd (wo)man out, I mean I didn’t have tattoos, I wasn’t wearing all black, and I had no idea what the musician was singing because it was inaudible to someone like myself who doesn’t listen to punk rock bands, ever, except for that night.

It was one of those nights where after I walked in, I immediately said to myself, “I’m going to need a drink to survive this”. This isn’t something I say very often, but this time, I knew it was the only thing that would make the half naked fatter guy singing on stage more tolerable to watch.

This was an experience that was good for me because I branched out of my bubble, even if it was for only one evening.

Many times I am very willing to go to events which I have minimal connection to, besides a friend. I’ve gone to Greek festivals, watched independent films in other languages, and go to art shows with influences that I have never heard of.

I’m thinking of making a bucket list of things to do that are out of my realm of comfort.

I’m a person with a “plain Jane” attitude. I don’t typically take chances if I feel I might embarrass myself, I stick to the same few activities, and go to the same places because it’s comfortable.

Because of this, I know now, at almost 25 I need to broaden my horizons and explore even more than I have recently.

As I Sit Here Listening

As I sit here in a Starbucks in North County of San Diego, I’m able to over hear the struggle of a guy who is trying to find a program allowing him to use his FAFSA grant towards an associates program of his choice.

I’ve heard him struggle with making sure the people at the other end of the line understand what his needs are, knowing he needs to gain information as quickly as possible in order to apply to a program before the deadline. I’ve heard his struggle with his phone not working properly, and loosing contact with the human on the other line.

As a future social worker, I’m recognizing out the struggles some people are going through to find a place that will allow them to move forward with their life.

Now this may not be the worlds biggest hurdle to some of us, but to many, trying to gain information and access to a program or a person is a constant struggle, and I applaud this man for continuing his search and the desire to move forward.

Keep moving forward sir, I can tell you are determined.

If you keep calling, someone is bound to listen.

Don’t tell me to breathe….

I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of relaxation exercises, it makes me more annoyed than anything.
Ironically enough this semester I’m taking a course titled: Mindfulness and Acceptance.

As you can imagine, having to do mindfulness exercises for homework irritates me since I was already annoyed by my teacher last semester having us start the class with ten minutes of relaxation techniques every week.

I know what to do in order to relax, I know what I enjoy doing and how to calm myself down when need be, so I really get annoyed when someone tells me we have to do it for an assignment. I don’t know why, but it’s probably the fact that I find it a waste of time, even though I know as a future clinical social worker I’ll have to use these techniques with my clients.

As my teacher said, “never tell a client to do something you’re not willing to do yourself”. I find this to be such an accurate statement when it comes to these techniques I have to learn to accept throughout the semester.

My classmates love it because it’s a ten minute break from class really, but for me, I find it a waste of time, and want to remind the teacher were paying for the course material not to sit and breathe.. But again, this time it’s actually a valid activity with this course.

This is going to be a struggle.