I’m attempting to figure out how to handle both my personal and professional life while in grad school, and in the beginning it was easy, but now not so much. I’m starting an internship for school in the fall, and have recently joined not one but two Panhellenic delegate committees. Why? Because my friend from undergrad convinced me it would be a good idea, and yes I think it will be. Once I get enough time to wrap my head around the fact that I’m now having to transition from my comfortable lifestyle that I’ve been used to for almost a year now here in San Diego.
I’m figuring out how to handle the fact that I’m now single, I’m also learning how to handle the stresses of work and school, while still attempting to be productive enough to get the two papers I have due in the next 7-10 days done and without loosing too much focus.
I’ve gotten too comfortable. I tried not to see the inevitable (my break up), and I tried to think positive and believe that nothing would be changing dramatically in my life. I don’t like changes, even when I was younger it threw me off when my mother would paint a room a different color or even buy a new piece of furniture. I like things to stay steady, and this of course is the period of my life in which things will never stay as consistent as I would like. So here I am, trying to figure out how to handle all of these changes going on in my life, and fighting to keep enough concentration on my paper that is due in about a week.
Instead, I’ve now facetimed one of my friends for over an hour, made dinner, looked at new apartment options, and scrolled through Facebook.
I’m trying to act like I have my life together. I must say a lot of people don’t know what’s going on, clearly, because in public I try to make sure I appear to have it all together. When, in reality, I’m still crying when I get home, I’m not able to focus on even one article for longer than five minutes, and I have asked myself the same eight questions about this paper I should be working on right now and yet I’m getting no answers, or so it feels that way.
Life gets difficult, but I’ve always been reminded things could be worse, and it’s true, they could be much worse. So for now I’m going to focus on this paper and try to get as much done as I can.